As The Metrobus Turns: Really? Edition

You know, loyal readers, nothing that happens on Metrobus should surprise me by now. Amidst the soon-to-be-pulverised douches who can't turn the volume down on their MP3 players (see my Twitter feed, @lansdellicious, for more on that) comes the occasional gem of human idiocy like the girl sitting 2 rows behind me right now, loudly discussing transactions of an illicit nature on her cellphone.

"She ask me how many I had right and I told her I could sell her like 50 and she was like how much so I told her like 200 so she gimme 100 then and 100 she said she's gonna gimme today. No b'y she's bes' kind, she's straight up I knows that. Well that's my last 50 and I only got 3 ounces left too so we needs to hook up. Love you too."

Never an undercover narc around when you need one...

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As The Metrobus Turns: Zoology Fail Edition

I despair for the school system. I really do. While recounting a tale of an encounter with 2 baby moose while driving on the highway, this paragon of intelligence pointed out that "You could know they was [sic] babies because they didn't have no [sic] stingers grown in on their heads yet. "

I for one was unaware that the moose was related to the scorpion, bee, wasp or even the duck-billed platypus.

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As The Metrobus Turns: Mall Edition

Anyone who knows me will agree that I'm a pretty random guy. And by pretty random I mean completely off my rocker. With that in mind, something that stops me dead in my tracks because of how randomly random it is is going to be pretty, well, random.

So you know those kiddie rides? The ones where you feed a toonie into the machine and your child gets the thrilling 90 seconds of slow repetitive movement that every minor loves. Sure you do. Normally they are based on a popular thing, like fire trucks or spaceships or Hannah Montana or whatever the deuce kids like these days. They will also play music that matches the ride...normally.

I say normally because today I saw one that blew my mind. A Hannah Montana thing that went up and down would generally play a song from the show, right? Well the last I heard, Ray Parker Jr was not in Hannah Montana. Yes, the ride plays Ghostbusters. Loudly. The poor 5-year-old girl was terrified and screaming that ghosts were going to get her. Me? I sang along.

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