As The Metrobus Turns, fashion rant edition

Heaven knows I'm the last guy who should be talking about appearances and fashion, but in my case I do it on purpose. On this bus right now there are 13 people and me.

One girl has hair so platinum blonde that it is dazzling. She also has a face that looks like she pounded it off an anvil for 5 hours. Oh God. She just said "If you seek Amy...I don't get it. Why do all the boys and all the girls want that? It's not even good English!" She has tattoos so I presume she's over 18.

One woman is wearing a heavy oilskin coat, done all the way up with the hood up, rubber boots, gloves, sunglasses...and a knee-length skirt that looks to be made of cotton.

Does Bubbles have a twin? He just got off.

Two teenaged boys are in the back with caps perched precariously at the edge of their raised, brightly coloured hoods at an acute angle. Said hats still have their holographic sticker confirming their authenticity and proclaiming the wearer to be a fan of a team of which I warrant he has never heard. They are wearing 3 gold-coloured chains ewach around their necks of varying lengths, but thick enough to secure themselves to a California redwood should the need and/or opportunity arise. Despite being of an average build and weight, they wear jeans sufficiently large to cover even my corpulent behind with ample room for a companion. As a rather unfortunate side-effect, the poor boys are unable to defeat gravity and keep the obvious hand-me-downs (for why else would they be ripped and many sizes too large?) at their waist. This has caused a large portion of their underwear to be clearly visible. Obviously this has been the source of much shame and upset for them, as they both have bloodshot eyes. Perhaps in an effort to drown out the mocking catcalls of their peers, they are playing something that could loosely described as music at a high volume.

And people make fun of me for having purple and green stripes in my hair.

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network